You are bidding on one (1) authentic REBECCA EVANS. This item has been damaged over its lifetime and is rendered broken and imperfect, and is sold AS IS. This item is not necessarily beyond repair, but extensive repair is required and this item will never be restored to its original model.
The seller acknowledges that the item being sold is defective. The seller also acknowledges the mistreatment of this item. Early childhood neglect, sexual trauma, assault and abandonment has rendered the item a “high achiever” on the outside while struggling to achieve within.
This dichotomy in REBECCA EVANS’ life led her down a path of more self-abuse than any other human could possibly place upon her in the outer world. Her constant self-criticism and judgment, her need to starve herself for two out the four decades of her life were all part of a slow suicide pact that took an act of G-d to finally cease.
The seller won her fourth grade Spelling Bee and from that day forward, accolades continued to follow: the Inspector General Award of Excellence while serving her country in the United States Air Force; Mrs. Idaho 2004; Boise State University’s “Women Making History in Idaho”; Phi Kappa Phi; Presidential Writing Award; Phi Theta Kappa, Idaho Business Review’s “Idaho Woman of the Year”…to name a few. When the seller gave birth to her first son, a medically fragile child with disabilities, her self-abuse began to ebb and her focus turned her energy towards the life of that child – which is specifically why the seller feels confident that REBECCA EVANS is not beyond repair, but is instead simply, clearly, utterly broken.
This item comes with baggage, a history of poor choices in husbands (NOTE TO BUYER the term husbands is used in plural form) and an uncanny repetition of events that forced her to continuously begin her life over. Of course the buyer could see these features as positive if he chooses, but most would judge REBECCA EVANS as a bit neurotic, analytical, overthinking and oversensitive.
REBECCA EVANS comes with several accessories as well: three sons, two adopted pugs, four Rhode Island Red chickens, a goldfish won at the Idaho State fair and a book collection just shy of a bonafide library. She has an almost superpower ability to make a difficult situation appear easy and a strong sense of humor in conflict.
The seller acknowledges that said item is not for the weak of heart and only the most courageous of souls should even bother to bid.
CARE FOR THIS ITEM: REBECCA EVANS requires food, ideally sushi and sweet wine, though she will settle with Grape Nuts and fresh eggs for most meals. The item is lactose intolerant and will require a supplement of almond and/or cashew milk in place of dairy.
This item also requires attention, compassion and ears that never tire of listening as REBECCA EVANS has a need to vocally process most every angle of life. The buyer will also be required to absorb REBECCA EVANS need to make sense of most situations with a sleuth-like intensity to understand not only the “HOW”, but also the “WHY” to life’s greatest puzzles and general human tendencies in the world around her. To avoid constant chatter, the item can be generously kissed.
This item needs rest and recovery from her battles in life, yet she will fight to do exactly the opposite. Any buyer should be mindful of REBECCA EVANS need for hyper-productivity and help encourage instead balance and rest in her daily life. NOTE TO BUYER: Oceans, mountains, bubble baths, fireplaces and candle light can all contribute to aiding in this balance.
That being said, the buyer enters this purchase at his own risk and can expect to be both inspired and continuously entertained by REBECCA EVANS creative and often odd approach to daily living.
The item is not returnable.